My Inner “Badie”, AKA Alter Ego
Throughout history, artists and authors have given characters additional traits or identities for creative or allegorical purposes. For me, Madame Cherry, was a way of psyching myself up, by embodying traits I admire or aspired to have, such as being less uncomfortable when breaking stereotypes or societal norms. For example, my personal tendency is to listen and show empathy for peoples struggles, I feel with them, this is ok for my close friends and family. However, if you requested a reading, Madame Cherry listened for your soul’s truth. She provided a perspective that validated your light but also illuminated the shadow inherit in our humanity. She provided spiritual guidance regardless of the feelings it evoked. Tarot readings are more about gaining insights or perspectives on one's life situation. I often use it for personal reflection, decision-making guidance, or exploring potential future outcomes. The focus is on providing spiritual, metaphysical, or symbolic guidance.
In the art of Divination, I want to be of service by separating myself from the advice. Is my moral obligation to say what is in the highest good of all. Justice cuts both ways and at times could feel like delivering tough love. For the people who often label me as “too sensitive” and who don’t quite comprehend and embody the meaning of perspective, I will paint a picture. For me, telling my bestie, who happens to call herself “The karaoke Queen”, that her singing is... well, let's just say it's setting off car alarms and making the dogs howl, was so uncomfortable that I had to cope with humor. This pain is lessened if you’re unpleasant to be around but the point is, I feel the discomfort and embarrassment of bursting someone’s bubble in my own body. I am so sensitive that getting into bed on a cold night feels just like a cold plunge, not that I’ve ever done one. Outsourcing the “bubble bursting” to Madame Cherry lessened the discomfort in the interaction when I first started reading cards. In essence, I want to make it clear that if you request a reading prepare to be brave because I am not your friend, I am here to assist.
I first discovered how having an alter ego was helpful when my loved ones got readings from me. I tried using all kinds of colorful and descriptive language to avoid saying a harsh truth they very much needed to hear. There is a place for validation and a place for feedback. When we’re not ready to hear certain truths about ourselves or we’re so disconnected from our internal world, the information coming out seems far fetched for us. I used to take it as a sign that I needed to “hold their hand” in the process. This left me a bit more drained as I treated my querents as my friends.
One of my oldest friends kept complaining about the ineffectiveness my “dancing around the truth” method had in his life. He would describe it as a waste of time and I would describe it as me validating his choices and hopefully planting seeds for later germination. I get it, men tend to be competitive and are typically more focused on “winning” so I had to adjust. After a while of having this discussion I decided to make a change and stop trying to explain my “loving delivery” and give the querent (my friend) what he was asking for. As I mentioned happens, certain things I said made no sense, due to having blind spots, so I focused more on explaining how it could be true from the “other” perspective. In tarot readings you must open your mind to become wise, we all have blind spots. I saw the difference in the impact of my words when he formally asked for a reading vs us talking as friends.
I realized in the context of spiritual guidance I must do what is needed for progress and well being of everyone involved. I find that having some systems in place unburdens my mind to use my intuition more effectively. I learned to trust my methods and summoning Madame Cherry used to allow me to focus on progress and not just validation for my querent. I since have grown to sit with the discomfort of the emotions that come up for my querents. I have grown, and can now decide to show up as myself.